January 31, 2005
On this day:

Pierce my labia??

Mrs Convict and I recently had our tonuges pierced. I'm just glad that I knew what I wanted piercing unlike this "dude".

To answer your questions:
No it didn't hurt; just like biting your tongue. However, pain is an individual thing. One girl passed out while she had hers done and the piercer had to get his mate in to prise her jaw open while he finished the piercing. A friend took his out because it was still hurting afer a month.
Yes it did swell up for about a day. Again, this is down to how well you heal. One friend's tongue took a month before her tongue was properly healed.
No, no-one notices it when I'm talking to them, unless I yawn.
Yes it does improve oral sex.

I need a hero ...

So I created myself one over here

Of course you need a cool superhero name so generate one.


Thanks for the warning Highfly.

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Governor bans video games from prisons - Blunt, a Republican who took office two weeks ago, called video games "a luxury that inmates should not be allowed to enjoy."

I'm going to have to get myself into solitary before Bubba starts getting bored and wants to play hide the sausage.

New Link partner

Take a look over at TGMJR

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Don't forget to check out Convict's Bitches for more nudity.

January 29, 2005
On this day:

Caught in the act

My spies have been out this weekend and caught DNA (a.k.a) The Cardinal up to his usual depraved indulgences

January 28, 2005
On this day:

Da ... da da da ... da ... daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Big fanfare followed by drum roll while the announcer speaks ....

Gentlemen, ladies and Badgers ... for your delight and delectation ... Convict is proud to present ... crowd holds collective breath and leans forward on their swivel chairs

Convict's Bitches

Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire ...
I noticed your cat.

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it..
She moved in with me.

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

We have been friends for a very long time ...
let's say we stop?

I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

Thanks for these Tim.

From the mouths of babes ...

Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices? Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.
The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK. After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time.
Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!"
As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"
"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted.
The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.

Car related

January 27, 2005
On this day:

Caption this

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An amateur gallery - via
Two blondes in a video of photoshoot.
A "friend" uploaded these pics with a video link as well

Nadine is described as a Hard Cop and there are more Action Girls

Another uniformed girl called Lia

99 hotties in one gallery - via

Isle of ... Woman

The Isle of Man is to be renamed the Isle of Woman for 2 days this weekend.
New law brings Liverpool closer to Amsterdam.
I like Stephen King's books so these are pretty cool (and the clown looks like DNA)
Bet this kid gets his head flushed down the toilet on a regular basis at school.

January 26, 2005
On this day:

He's baa' aaack

Once upon a time there was a blogging virgin who was bored at work so decided to do a search for some Coolio's lyrics. Our virgin found a site called Coolios while clicking through the search results. Intrigued, our virgin re-visited the site whereupon he befriended a young maiden. The young maiden coerced our virgin into one of the best experiences of his life; to start his own blog as you read it on your screen.

Whilst at the aforementioned Coolios our virgin came to know of a wonderous wizard who went by the name of Flip. Now Flip has recently been through a baptism of torture and pain that no man should ever have to experience but, like Gandalf rising from the fight with the Balrog (geek, I know and furthermore I don't care), Flip has emerged a better and more determined blogger.

Get over there now and check his site out!!!

Pass the dildo

Well aren't I popular? D-Sign and Creamy wanted me to answer the dildo questions passed on by virtually every blogging site that I've viewed in the last week or so. Without further ado I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me God .... bollocks ... force of habit.

1. Have you ever used toys or other things during sex
Yes of course ... Mrs Convict has owned virtually all of Ann Summers toy collection ... rum babas are pretty fun along with whipped cream ... eh, uberBitch?? Mind you I do know someone who was reeeeeaaaalllly attached to his Garfield toy.

2. Would you consider using dildos or other sexual toys in the future?
I'll try anything once if I got a hankering for it. Apart from some of the extreme stuff like electrocution ... and animals.

3. What is your kinkiest fantasy you have yet to realize?
Hmmm ... it was a threesome with two girls ... more girls then I suppose.

4. Who gave you this dildo?
Erm ... answered that in the intro didn't I?

5. Who are the ones to recieve this dildo from you?
The only one who doesn't seem to have answered this one yet is Badger, so it'll have to be him. Oh and I wouldn't mind hearing what Mrs Fu-qtoo over at So they call me "Cherry Pie" would have to say.

Snow joke

Crap pun I know, so shoot me. It's a bit chilly over here in the UK at the moment, but I know that those of you in colder climes are suffering with a large amount of snow and freezing temperatures. I think you should be out there doing something instead of bitching about how cold it is or how deep the snow is so here are a few suggestions.
Get practicing for this year's International Snow Sculpture Championships. If you liked them you can download wallpapers.
Don't like snow? How about some ice sculpting?
Of course you could always play a round.
If you happen to be near a lake you could try these.
For those of you in warmer climes that don't understand what snow is, you can find out All About Snow.
If you have the misfortune of being disabled, you can still get around in the snow with this.

Real or fake?

Not breasts for once, but smiles. I got 18 out of 20, what's your score? - via

Thanks to the following ...

I would like to thank the following sites for sending me so much traffic:

Babes of the Goose
The Babe Links - who has just linked to me and is now on the links sidebar


Girls, have you ever met a real hunk but had your granny knickers on? At that moment did you wish you had something sexier on? Did you make your excuses for fear of him seeing those apple catchers? Well now help is at hand


If you've never read the cyber sex exploits of Bloodninja then you're in for a treat. This site has a comprehensive collection. I have been asked previously if Bloodninja is one of my pseudonyms and I have to admit that ... it's not unfortunately.

Caption this

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Guess the bra size

Today's bras are amazing in the amount of lifting and squishing and maximising that they can do. See if you can guess this bra size - via

January 25, 2005
On this day:

A betting lady

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"
The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"
"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my test1cles are not square."
"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."
"No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his test1cles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his test1cles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's test1cles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc.. so hat she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."
The elderly woman did so with a little smile.
Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!"

Prince Harry at it again

Lord of the Rings

I like this new trilogy, thanks to Marc.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Net Litter

I guess Bruce just doesn't have enough to do lately cos Netlitter has moved again. The sidebar has been updated and the new site can be found here.

January 21, 2005
On this day:

C'mon DNA

Wish I could get that to fit the Dexys Midnight Runners tune but ....

In the comments for the DNA's New Girlfriend post yesterday, DNA entered this lovely epithet: I'm going to put a tarriff on your ass that will have every inmate looking to give you love in all the wrong places. ... not very nice was it? And to be honest I'm starting to get the distinct feeling that the clownboy may be taking over from his psychopathic counterpart from It.

Unfortunately, it seems that his tariff paid off as you can see

Anyone got any witch-hazel?

God bless little old ladies

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building, when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!" Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce." About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, expels some gas, then says, "Broccoli...... 49 cents a pound."


A three year old is examining his testicles while in the bath.
"Are these my brains mum?" he asks.
Mum answers "Not yet."

January 20, 2005
On this day:

Little Billy

Little Billy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you
know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little Billy replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!"

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Billy. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little Billy says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Billy replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

Little Billy returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father." "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied Billy. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference? " asks the father. "That's what I said!"

Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Billy says " Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Billy, that's a mouthful." Little Billy says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little Billy. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"

DNA's new girlfriend?

During my usual browsing for interesting links and articles I discovered a girl looking for love, her profile reads like this:

Young, dark eyed, brunette with large teats from Texas would like to meet her dream cowboy. I love the wide open spaces of the outdoors and sleeping under the stars. You must be solvent, have a good sense of humour, love partying and deviant sex. You wouldn't believe what I can do with my tongue.

So DNA, meet your potential dream girl

January 19, 2005
On this day:

10 Things a Guy Shouldn't Say to His In-Laws

1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.
2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?
3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head?
4. Can you believe it! Those shitheads at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!
5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.
6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable, in my opinion.
7. Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.
8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?
9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.
10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.

Brought to you by So they call me Cherry Pie


There's a lot of stupidity in the world, me included, and I decided to collate a few examples for your enjoyment.
Even Harvard Professors can say stupid things.
Boy gets his ball back.
Too drunk to drive? Get a responsible driver.
The FCC are at it again.
The Philippines are getting tough on jaywalking.
A kid ... a bike ... you'd think they'd learn - via
Not sure if they'll take off but these look stupid to me.
If you insist on cycling along a drop ... via
For when you've gotta go on the go.
More milk for Badger.
Speaking of Badger I found a pic while he was out partying.

Movie fans

Seen something in a movie and though "I want that", well now you can

10 Things a Guy Doesn't Want to Hear From His In-Laws

10. Well now that you're officially my son-in-law, it's time to let you in on some family secrets. Need a drink? No, seriously have a drink.

9. I have a couple of old suits that are too big for me. If you lose a little weight you just might fit into them.

8. I was wondering what kind of birth control you use... oh wait, you're not thinking about having more children are you?

7. We're thinking about buying the house across the street so we can help raise your kids.

6. How about this: We'll pay half of your medical bills if you promise to get a vasectomy.

5. I noticed our daughter has been out of sorts lately. Have you thought about using Viagra?

4. I want to take a group picture of the whole family. Here's the camera - you take the picture.

3. There are actually certain positions that make conception more likely. Here, come look at these drawings.

2. I hear the weather is going to be warm and clear the next few days. Maybe it would be a good time for you to get some yard work done.

1. Well isn't that funny - your baby has the same nose and ears as Craig! You know - the man she dated just before she met you.

January 18, 2005
On this day:

Badger baiting

Although the reality of this supposed sport is something that I am not happy exits and people caught will be imprisoned ... Badger baiting in this fashion will not result in an extension on my sentence.

Following on from Badger's comment on this post at theGoose's blog.

Site changes

For those of you who haven't notice, I have added on this day links to the date header and also translation links on the right sidebar. I will add other languages later.

Hubba hubba

I love the caption on Ron Harris' site - come up to beauty
Joker-inc has the FHM 2005 calendar
Ladies, if you don't want your nipples pierced but want some jewellery for them try these
Like girls? Like cars? Like girls posing with cars? Here you go then - via
I do like bitty, boobs or whatever you like to call them
Vote on these and these pictures - via
Pamela, just Pamela Anderson
Chase can come and help me with my soiled laundry
Now we're talking ... these are the sort of burgers I like to eat
This hot ad isn't what it seems
<Ahem> ... erm ... oooookaaaay
Creamy's got some Playboy Europe shots or you can view Playboy shots from 1960 - 2004
Browse a photogallery and pop over here to see more of Miri Bratu
If I didn't know any better I'd swear one of these girls mudwrestling was Mrs Convict
Her name's Giselle Bundchen, no idea who she is
The photography of Stephen McClure ... Troy McClure's brother??
A stack of Daniele Gamba photos
Raven Riley took a while to load on my 1Mb connection
Futuresque type photos of an unknown brunette

Pew, pew, wheeee, pew, pew, pew ..... booooom

Soooo cooool, play old Sega, Nintendo, Gameboy and Arcade games online.
Big orange button button. A good timewaster.
A sobering ad on the effects of speeding.
The trend of big heads in advertising.
The warden's heard about this and has gotten excited.
For those of you that like their manga here are the AppleSeed trailers.
For the more discerning among you, the art of Travis Louie.
For those with G-mail accounts, this allows you to treat it as a virtual drive.
Anyone planning a party might want to buy this 30 person beer bong!!!!!!

January 17, 2005
On this day:


No uberBitch and Badger not snow, but cars. Ok not cars per se but radio controlled cars. I can actually drift cars like this ... erm on Need for Speed Underground 2 <cough>


No, not the sort of contacts that you have in your e-mail application, or the type that they're going to use to connect my chair up with either. Contact lenses have diversified. Personally I'd love to see Bubba's face if I were to wear a pair of Flames or Black Sclera ... mwuhahahaha


This is toogle. Enter a word and it will use it to create a picture ... sometimes they're recognisable.

Here's mine, theGoose, DNA, Badger and uberBitch

Monday - on holiday

Mrs Convict has ended up in the hospital wing to fix a broken ligament on her ankle so I'm not working.

Letters to companies, click next at the top to view the company responses.
I'm sure theGoose wants this car.
If you're too far from the woods, the weather's not right or you just haven't got a gun you can still bag that deer (requires sound).
Sooo cool ,pun intended, a minty mp3 player.
Let me make this clear, the following famous people are not gay.
Game - Cat Vac.
Looking to resign? These should give you an idea as to what and what not to say.

New inmate

Just hope this guy doesn't end up anywhere near me!

New link site

photo hosting and image hosting by ImageVenue.comCheck out D-Sign.

January 16, 2005
On this day:

The uberBitch delivers

The uberBitch has been running a poll as to which bikini everyone would like to see her in. The poll is in and the Starburst was the winner. Unfortunately pictures of the uberBitch modelling the said bikini will not be available until February at the earliest so she has decided to provide us with a taster by posting some pictures to whet the appetite.

January 15, 2005
On this day:

How efficient is Microsoft?

Go to this page http://mappoint.msn.com/DirectionsFind.aspx
Choose Norway and City haugesund for start
Choose Norway and City trondheim for finish
Leave everything as default and then get directions and be amazed by the efficiency...

January 14, 2005
On this day:

Congratulations Badger

Badger has made it into the record books


Anyone want to buy a new property with me?
There is such a thing as having too many dogs in your flat (apartment for those of you across the pond)
Now ... if I could just lose some weight
Where Bush goes to jog his memory
Who could forget Animal House
The publisher 'of High-Quality Books on Forbidden Topics'
Microsoft have bought out Creature House Expression
Following on the fracas surrounding Attu's story, theGoose, Badger and DNA might enjoy the writings at Blithe House
And I'm sure theGoose would like to visit this house of full of chicks
How to wrap your friend's apartment in tin foil
If you're looking to rent an apartment you should see if it's here
The infamous Mike's Apartment

Thoughts for today

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Never lick a steak knife.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that...... you think she's pregnant .....unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person

Your friends love you anyway.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

January 13, 2005
On this day:

Where are you from?

Looking at my stats after chundering down the toilet following a visit to the uberBitch's site I decided to show the countries from which visitors to this site originate. So I've decided to ask:
Who are you and where are you from?
Just leave a bit about yourself in the comments.

Oh yeah, and here are the countries
United States
United Kingdom
United Arab Emirates
South Africa
Saudi Arabia
Hong Kong
Islamic Republic Of Iran


This is the sort of romantic date that Mrs Convict can expect from me. Via So they call me "Cherry Pie"
Moulin Rouge just keeps getting bigger
The trailer for Keanu's new movie Constantine
What's that smell Grandma? Oops I crapped my pants
An alternative way to park. Via Joker Inc
Badger's been caught tugging the custard chucker
I don't understand what the egg symbolises
This guy's really pumped
The Greatest Action Story Ever Told
Back flipping skier. Via Net litter
Who's Line Is It Anyway used to be on Channel 4 in the UK and three of the guys from this used to be on it
Look at me I'm about to do really cool trick NOT. Via Gorilla Mask
Hahaha It's time to bone. It's pron but not as we know it.

Great site

I've been browsing Gorilla Mask for quite a while now so pop over there and have a look.

You know you grew up in the 80's when ...

The sad thing is that some of these are true for me

You never questioned why the A-Team were always imprisoned in places that had sufficient tools to build an armoured tank.
Dungeons & Dragons was your favourite cartoon.
Your lunch times were spent perfecting swan dives and backspins.
You fell out with friends during heated arguments about the relative merits of Matt & Luke.
You owned, or wanted a "Frankie says..." T-shirt.
You have ever danced (or even worse cried) to Kylie & Jason.
Cerise pink, electric blue and banana yellow have ever featured in your wardrobe or make-up collection.
You ever did the top toggle of your coat up around your neck without having your arms in the sleeves, and knew you looked like a super-hero.
You remember when the A-Ha video was the pinnacle of modern technology, and you can still sing all the words.
Parachuting Action man was your favourite toy.
Your best party dress was either a ra-ra or puff-ball skirt.
You ever owned a thin, black leather tie (and were proud of it), or worse it was patterned like a piano.
You wondered why a popular kids TV programme told you to "Turn off your TV set and go and do some less boring instead".
You cried at Zammo's funeral.
You wanted to be either Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys.
You ever said "It's my ball, and if I can't be Kevin Keegan I'm going home!"
You remember the aerobie scare.
You have ever po-goed or space-hopped.
You remember when Keith Chegwin & Maggie Philbin were the hottest romantic couple.
You wondered why your walkie-talkie didn't have the same range as those in the Red Hand Gang.
You were shocked by the controversial plot lines in Degrassi Junior High.
You tried to set up a "Famous Five" or "Secret Seven" gang with your school friends.
You tried to convince your Dad to fit a strip of red lights on the front of his Capri so it looked like KITT.
"Ca-vey Wa-vey!" means anything to you.
You ever had more than 10 sweets in a 10p mix-up.
Not only did you wear luminous clothing, but they were mismatched fingerless gloves and towelling socks.
You remember when Betamax was at the cutting edge of technology.
Conveyor belts regularly carried washing machines, deep-fat fryers and a cuddly toy.
You could have got away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids.
(Girls) You owned a pair of Pixie Boots, generally worn with leg warmers.
(Boys) You owned a pair of pale grey slip-ons, generally worn with white towelling socks.
Shiny grey flecked suits.
You rolled the sleeves of your suit jacket up.
Ooh, you could crush a Grape!
You went to school with Pogo Patterson, Gripper Stebson, and Ro-land.
You were proud of your picture appearing in the Gallery.
You remember Look In magazine, and when it was only 20p.
You wondered why you and your mates never encountered diamond thieves whilst out on your BMXs.
No 73?
You can remember what Quatro tasted like.
Your best mate had a soda stream at home and you were jealous.

I should be punished

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh McTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him.... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person posted ten different puns for his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!

January 12, 2005
On this day:


A woman 'tore off ex-lover's testicle' I'm pretty sure that men don't tear off their ex-lover's breasts.

Of bras

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters
used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

A = Almost Boobs
B = Barely there
C = Can't Complain
D = Damn
DD = Double damn
E = Enormous
F = Fake
G = Get a Reduction.
H = Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!

The bra ball
Get a tickle off the missus when she wears one of these
What sort of bra are you? You're a black lacy almost see through bra, sexy, tempting, and seductive.
The ultimate bra guide
A blog called no bra required
If you touch my bra it'll call the cops
Guess her bra size
The magic 8 bra
If men designed the bra ...
The bra with a brain - it tightens its own straps if an energetic wearer needs extra support.
Found this while searching for bra religion
Does nothing for me but I'm sure some of you will like this bra

January 11, 2005
On this day:

New link partner

Highfly has a blog over at Highfly In Space where you can see stuff like this.


Elsa Bridges
GorillaMask has Eva Longoria
TTR2 has Anetta and these two
What I want to know is where do they keep the money to pay for those purchases
Pantera ... no not the thrash metal band
More from Emergency Boobies
Hot lesbians
No bitty but there you go - paintballing
A different meaning to bashing the bishop

My penance

I dunno ... Attu posts the first three lines of a story and asks everyone to continue it. So I go into the comments, add my tuppenny worth and the next thing I know I'm being threatened by the uberBitch and the DNA Cowboy (a.k.a. the Cardinal)!!! The only two that don't seem fazed are Badger and theGoose (who by his own admission hasn't been with it lately, bless him).

So even though I have repented for my sins and begged for forgiveness I leave it up to you, dear prison visitor, to decide what my penance should be.

Convict reserves the right to refuse any penance that could extend his sentence, involves renting out any part of his body to Bubba or he just doesn't like

A warning to you boy racers

You should read this and look at the pictures to serve as a reminder that racing on the roads is irresponsible and dangerous. Via Attu

What type of mage are you?

Find out here

The Cork

Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt.

"If you do not mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"

"I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my butt."

"I do not understand," said the other.

The first Arab says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out. He said, "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."

I said, "No shit?"


The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good, "said the teacher.

Little Sally was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."

"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467,"cried the teacher, "what in the world were you selling?" "Tooth brushes," said Little Johnny.

"Tooth brushes," echoed the teacher, "how could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a Chip and Dip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing.

'Hey, this tastes like shit!' Then I would say, "It is shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

January 10, 2005
On this day:


If you haven't checked out this site, you should!!. He has managed to find some of the most depraved, perverse and "Oh my fucking God!!"able items on the net. One of his posts today which had me reaching for my incontinence pants was this one

New Blogs

Thanks to the uberBitch for letting me know that Mrs Fu-qtoo has her own blog over at So they call me "Cherry Pie"

Also TTR2 has a new blog over at The TTR2 Blog

Bruce from Netlitter has also got a new blog over at Bruce's House

Quotes by women

Inside every older lady is a younger lady -- wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley-

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country..
-Elayne Boosler-

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house..
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

The Interview

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.

"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye... that's a very popular cliche for speed."

He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question..

The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants!"


Some people will sell anything

Vagina shaped potato chip on ebay
Lesbians suing each other
Game: New version of collapse - NSFW
In case you want to know what that insect actually is
Watch volcanos live
Women can now donate their surplus breast milk - wtf?
He's going to do a joint next
Game: One for theGoose, DNA and Badger, an online work out
Rate my network diagram for the nerds mentioned above
Cities photographed by astronauts
Top ten celebrity blonds.Now if they had a top ten internet blonds then the uberBitch would be number one. I want to know which ones are airplanes???

January 07, 2005
On this day:

Speech Impediment

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at their local bar, when one said to the other, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"

"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "Fire away."

"Well," said the first guy, "Why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"

"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy.

"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired the first fellow, "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"

"Well," replied his friend, "You must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say NO!

Head gear

Some wierd folk who like wearing animal head hats
An aluminium foil deflector beanie to prevent mind control ... yeah right
Some of the hats that parents inflict on toddlers no wonder the poor rugrats end up in therapy
One for the clownboy cos every clown needs to know about balloon hats. Sorry DNA, try these instead.

I'm a Baseball Cap
What Sort of Hat Are You? I am a Baseball Cap.
I enjoy sports, either to partake or to spectate. I have something of an all-American personality. I am a consumer, witness my power. What Sort of Hat Are You?

I was sorted by the sorting hat. I'm
a Gryffindor!
Want to Get Sorted?

Knit yourself a kitty hat
How to make a trucker cap from rubbish ... wtf
Whats amazing about this site is that they're all sold out!!
For St Patrick's day you could try a leprechaun hat
A couple of the top helmet manufacturers are Arai, Shoei and FM but don't do this or this to them.
A helmet for the uberBitch

The only time when 3 women approaching me in balaclavas would not be frightening

This would freak me out a bit though ... a special forces alien?
photo hosting and image hosting by ImageVenue.com
If you're feeling a bit regal you can always get a crown but if that's too heavy then maybe you'd prefer a tiara


Chuck the rubber man
photo hosting and image hosting by ImageVenue.com

One from theGoose called Proximity and very good it is too.

One from the uberBitch called uberBattle

Ah takes me back to my mis-spent youth down the arcades Turbo Tanks via GorillaMask.net

Defend your fort against toy soldiers

Frustrating frog puzzle

Addictive squares 2 sheep

Cool game of 20 questions where the computer tries to figure out the item you've selected. It got blue whale in 17.

You can play this game of slaps either against a friend or the computer.

Beat the crap out of your opponent in virtual pikey

My sick sense of humour means that I find gimp roulette funny as hell.

Lastly there's yeti snowboarding

Motorcycle sex positions

Thanks to Attu for this one as I'll need them once I get out.

Alaskan party

Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Frank ...Your neighbor from forty miles away.... Having a Xmas party Friday ... Thought you might like to come. About 5..."

"Great," says Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Frank is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem... after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em."

Again, as he starts to leave, Frank stops. "More'n'likely gonna be some fightin' too."

Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Frank turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

"Now that's really not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"

Frank stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us".

New Link partner

If you like scantily clad or even naked women like this stunner

then head on over to Bams Angels


Assume that they're all NSFW and you won't have any problems

Nude girls
Emergency boobies
Nadie cleaning
More emergency boobies
Girls flashing their tits
Biggest boobs ever so it says.
Sylvie Blum has girl as well as boy nudes
Erica Rose Campbell
Eva Henger
Former female wrestler actually looks like a female
Lauren Michelle Hill

January 06, 2005
On this day:


Not something I suggest you do on a motorbike, and I never have while riding mine, but apparently 1 in 10 motorists that drive by you are naked from the waist down.


It's here

Avery Ant

He's the itchy hipster, political pundit, and PO’d pismire and you can watch his rants

No it wasn't me

According to a Michigan Assistant Attorney General testifying before the Michigan Senate Judiciary Committee, frivolous prisoner lawsuits are overburdening state and federal courts. In Case No. 9650302, a prisoner sued the state blaming the food in prison for his flatulence problem. The Attorney General's Office estimates the annual cost of defending the state against frivolous prisoner lawsuits to be several million dollars, all paid for by the state taxpayer.

News just in ....

theGoose was alarmed last night whilst resting in his hot tub. A lynx decided that she'd like to give him a small love bite. theGoose wasn't having any hanky panky as Mrs Goose was inside preening her feathers so he chased the lynx off.

Don't believe me? Here's the evidence

20 reasons why a girl should call it a night

1. You have absolutely no idea where your handbag is.
2. You truly believe that dancing with your arms overhead and wiggling your bottom while yelling "She Bangs She Bangs" is truly the hottest dance move around!!!
3. You've suddenly decided that you want to fight someone and you honestly believe that you could do it too.
4. In your last trip to the toilet you realise you now look more like Lily Savage than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. kebab ... erm I mean kebab on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. You start crying and telling everyone you see that you love them sooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
8. You've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to you.
9. The man you're flirting with used to be your biology teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. Your eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so you decide to keep them half closed and think it looks exotic.
12. You seem to think that it's a really good idea to get your mates to push you down the street in a shopping trolley.
13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste the vodka.
14. You think you're in bed, but the pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
15. You start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."
16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
17. You're hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. You're soooo tired you just sit on the floor (wherever you happen to be standing)
19. You begin leaving the buttons open on your button flypants to cut down on the time you're in the bathroom away from your drink.
20. You take your shoes off because you really believe it's their fault that you're having problems walking straight.

How to look busy in the office

1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.
3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4. Voice Mail
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.
7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.
10. Have 2 Jackets
If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere


The truth about TV mind control
Pictures from around the world at the world wide panorama index
I'm not usually in favour of lip synching at supposed live concerts but Ashley Simpson proves that there is sometimes a really good reason to do so
Put some meat in your neighbour's garden; take pics of it every day for 20 days and see how it gets on ... too much time, too much time
One of my favourites, the Hubble gallery
A butterfly gallery
One for all the surfers among you ... erm water, not web
Just in case you need to identify some Protozoa
There alway has to be a pussy gallery
I could spend hours looking at this site as it has 2 of my favourite things on it
Finally theGoose, the uberBitch and Badger should take a look here, here, here and here to appreciate Photoshop maestros at work

January 05, 2005
On this day:

Guess what this is?

What do you think this is? It's obviously a Renault ...


How easy is it to steal a push bike?
Bizarre ad with a granny
Another drill ad
Erm ... wtf
Ahhh ... cute cats
Ker ... splat - via the joker
And for those of you that can't get enough of that effing frog

January 04, 2005
On this day:


I was asked the other day as to what bitty meant by a non-uk surfer. Well, it comes from a series called Little Britain whereby a nearing middle aged toff still insists, and is even encouraged, by his mother to continue breast feeding. His method of obtaining his mother's teat is to insistently request for "Bitty ..... bitty mummy." In one recent sketch that I ended up thinking about the benefits of incontinence pants; mummy's bitty was dry as he had been, in the words of his father, "a greedy boy" that morning and so he ended up with (said as Homer would drool over the gummy venus) "Nana bitty."

To save you the trouble and expense of carbohydrates in exerting your finger, wrist, eyes and brain in the effort of searching the pages the clips can be seen (with RealMediaPlayer):

The only things that annoy me about Little Britain is that I missed so many of the episodes when they first came out and also to the fact that now my kids have seen it they now: walk around the house randomly pointing to things and saying "I want that one"; respond to questions with "Yeah I know"; respond to questions with "Yeeeees"; respond to questions with "Yeah ... but, ... no ... but"; insist that they are "the only gay in the village"; occasionally spontaneously explode with "E, e, eheheheh"; and for some reason my son now walks around insisting that he's a "laaady".

New link partner

Check out the artsy side of nudes ... and other arty photos over at xupacabras. Just don't ask me to pronounce it!!

Site stats

Well I must say that I'm quite impressed with the total number of hits that I've received since my first post on December 9, 2004. I have managed to rack up nearly 6,500 hits in one month.

Now I only started this blog mainly due to the constant nagging (or do brats whine DNA?) from a certain sexy young canadian who I must thank for getting me started ... step forward uberBitch.

Before they start bitching at me I'd also like to thank theGoose and the clownvestite DNA Cowboy (who's a greedy bastard and needs another blog over at Cardinal Sin) for the laughs and wind ups that we've enjoyed. Badger also gets a mention for jokes that make me laugh more than theGoose's.

I'd also like to draw your attention to other sites that I'm grateful to as listed on the left sidebar and also to you ... yes you ... the surfer who's actually reading this; for if you weren't to visit I wouldn't carry on blogging.

Top tens of 2004

Nascar images
Paranormal events
Viruses reported to sophos
MSNBC's movie list
Scientific advances
New Scientist's
Most embarrassing scientific announcements
Games from Gamespy
Bush flip-flops
Worst toys
Green building products
Conspiracy theories
Cryptozoology stories
Software innovations
Urban legends
Most unwanted spyware
Hot topics in plastic surgery
Celebrity mishaps
Quirkiest news stories
Nude movie sceens obviously NSFW
Space images
Cameltoes NSFW

And who can forget the top word of the year .... you guessed, it's blog. Of course, you need to review the top 10 blogging tools.