March 19, 2006
On this day:

Bank and Credit Card Charges

Bank charges are not legally enforceable. Penalty clauses in contracts in English (and Scottish) law for breach of contract aren’t legal if the penalty exceeds the actual cost of the breach of either party.

We all know that it does not cost a bank £25 to £39 to return a Direct Debit, Standing Order or cheque, and luckily so do judges, and indeed the banks. It’s purely a money making scheme, and a lucrative one at that – with estimates that the charges from the top 4 UK high street banks generated £3 billion alone. One in five bank customers incur these types of charges, and because it's a bank imposing them, most assume that the bank must be legally entitled to do so.

OK so what are the rules?

Under the 1977 Unfair Terms (contracts) Act, the sheer fact that ALL banks make these charges makes this a breach of the act (the example given is exactly that!).

This is also a breach of the 1999 Consumer Credit Act (Unfair Terms in Consumer Contracts - the OFT is already investigating the charges levied by Credit Card Companies) and possibly the Sale of Goods Act, and many others.

Find out more about how Bank and credit card charges are not legally enforceable and how you can claim them back. My letter is going in the post.

March 16, 2006
On this day:

Blond Joke

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B , C, D, E , F , G!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"Yes, It's because you're blonde"

"The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls have flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36C's.

"Very good," said her embarassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"No, darling. It's because you're 24!"

Music links

If you are a member of a band and you want to get your music out to as many people as possible with the minimum outlay; you need to upload your tracks to Purevolume. Alternatively you can tune in to their radio to hear some of the newest bands around. is another site providing these facilities along with limited free downloads and the ability to create your own charts and groups. Sorta like a myspace for music.

Epitonic Radio is a site where you can select one or more genres of music, how many tracks you want to listen to and it will automatically generate a playlist for you and stream it to your computer. Great for those times when you're not sure what you want to listen to.

Mp3 Downloads

If you like your hip hop and R&B then you should take a gander at There are stacks of albums for download and some porn and normal films just for good measure.

Nudie Patooties

When I first saw the title I thought, save that link for viewing at home when the kids are in bed. Well I'm sure you do too. However, Nudie Patooties turns out to be a couple of bald pussies. No, not those sort of pussies either.


Give a technology institute multimillion dollar funding to promote nanotechnological research and what do they do? They prove how adept they are at manipulating DNA strands by creating a facsimile of the Americas which can only be seen on extremely high powered atomic force microscope. Not only that but they can create other images including a smiley face and a hexagon.

March 15, 2006
On this day:

Hot Latin Male

As there is such a poor Piggy snuffling his way round the blogosphere I thought I'd put this link up to a hot latin male to cheer him up.

No thanks necessary Piggy

Why do men have nipples?

Can you lose a contact lense in the back of your head?
Does wet or cold weather cause a cold?
Is it dangerous to hold in a sneeze?
Is there really a wrinkle cure?
Does spicy food cause ulcers?
Why do some people have an 'outie' belly button and some people have an 'innie'?
Is it dangerous to pop spots?
Does cranberry juice cure urinary tract infections?
Why do you laugh when tickled?

All of these questions answered

World Sexual Records

Largest Penis

Naturally we begin with the topic foremost on men’s minds. The average penis size for white males is about 6.2 inches, so if you don’t quite measure up, don’t worry: penis size has relatively little to do with one’s capacity to pleasure. Remember: it ain’t the meat, it’s the motion.

The largest erect member in medical literature would be the 14-inch organ mentioned by Dr. David Reuben in his book Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (1969). Reuben didn’t divulge any source for this figure, and there was no independent verification, so you may question his accuracy. The largest medically verified penis on record is 13.5 inches long and 6.25 inches around, documented in the early twentieth century by Dr. Robert L. Dickinson. Other sources (Alfred Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, etc.) mention specimens ranging from 9.5 to 12 inches.

Largest Vagina

Most likely belonged to Scottish giantess Anna Swan (1846-1888), a remarkable woman who set a number of records relating to her bulk. Born normally sized, she began growing at a prodigious rate in childhood, finally reaching a maximum height of 7′ 8" at age 19. Capitalizing on her huge size, she joined a side show and toured the country, where she met and fell in love with Captain Martin Bates, another giant who measured over 7 feet tall. They wed in 1872, making them the tallest married couple in the world, a record that still stands today. The couple settled down into married life, built a mansion filled with enormous furniture, including an 11′ by 7′ bed where they consummated their union. On June 18, 1879, she gave birth to the largest baby in history, weighing 26 lbs. and 34 inches in length—so large, in fact, that it became tightly wedged in her capacious tract, only extricated by the use of forceps and belts. The child did not survive the rigors of birth, but a cast was made, still on display at the Cleveland Museum of Health.

And much more World Sexual Records

Found at Creamy's

You've heard the expression

Couldn't find their arse with a map? Well, this one did

The offside rule for girls

An easy way for girls to truly understand the offside rule

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse has *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

Note to self

Make sure you don't attempt to park your bike like this.

March 14, 2006
On this day:

Out and about

Badger has been spotted out and about doing a bit of shopping.

Yeah, ok it was rushed.

15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense

When Charles Darwin introduced the theory of evolution through natural selection 143 years ago, the scientists of the day argued over it fiercely, but the massing evidence from paleontology, genetics, zoology, molecular biology and other fields gradually established evolution's truth beyond reasonable doubt. Today that battle has been won everywhere--except in the public imagination.

Embarrassingly, in the 21st century, in the most scientifically advanced nation the world has ever known, creationists can still persuade politicians, judges and ordinary citizens that evolution is a flawed, poorly supported fantasy. They lobby for creationist ideas such as "intelligent design" to be taught as alternatives to evolution in science classrooms. As this article goes to press, the Ohio Board of Education is debating whether to mandate such a change. Some antievolutionists, such as Philip E. Johnson, a law professor at the University of California at Berkeley and author of Darwin on Trial, admit that they intend for intelligent-design theory to serve as a "wedge" for reopening science classrooms to discussions of God.

More on the 15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense

Compare and contrast

Two clubs for you to assess - first is Club SthlmVip Stockholm, Sweden

Stockholm 1Stockholm 2Stockholm 3
Stockholm 4Stockholm 5Stockholm 6
Stockholm 7Stockholm 8Stockholm 9
Stockholm 10Stockholm 11Stockholm 12
Stockholm 13Stockholm 14

Now, the ‘Pig & Whistle’ Nightclub, Newcastle, England

Newcastle 1Newcastle 2Newcastle 3
Newcastle 4Newcastle 5

Errrmmm…does Ryanair fly to Stockholm?

March 13, 2006
On this day:

Outcast Penguin

HARHARHARHAR .... just saw this and knew that Tazzy and Piggy would love this pic of an outcast penguin


Won't be long and it'll soon be Easter. So I thought I'd be the first to wish you a great Easter weekend

Life explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said:
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

The Female Prostate

Apparently women do have a prostate and it's more commonly known as the G-spot.

An unusually informative article found by Badger; unusual in that he usually finds nude women.

Las Vegas Strip generator

Have fun making your own Las Vegas Strip sign. Here's my Las Vegas Strip Sign.

Found at Coolios

If anyone wants ...

Badger, he'll be at Penrith railway station

March 10, 2006
On this day:


"Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
- Lillian Carter (mother of 64th president Jimmy Carter)

"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement."
- Mark Twain

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible."
- George Burns

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year."
- Victor Borge

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
- Mark Twain

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir..mighty scarce."
- Mark Twain

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get" a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
- Groucho Marx

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
- Jimmy Durante

"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things."

- Jilly Cooper

"I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."
- Alex Levine

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
- Mark Twain

"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."
- Ed Furgol

"Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
- Spike Milligan

"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."
- Henny Youngman

"I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."
- Mark Twain

"Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up."
- Joe Namath

"Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life."
- Herbert Henry Asquith

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
- Bob Hope

"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it."
- WC. Fields

"We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress."
- Will Rogers

"Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you."
- Winston Churchill

"Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out."
- Phyllis Diller

"The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out."
- Unknown

"By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere."
- Billy Crystal

Understanding Engineers

Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

March 06, 2006
On this day:

Fleshlight usage (NSFW)

If you've been round the web a while now you will have noticed that there are ads everywhere for Fleshlights. I got one and couldn't see a thing with it, but then I stumbled upon a site that has videos which are Fleshlight videos.

Note to self, get Badger's postal address.

One for the ladies

One Bag: The Art and Science of Travelling Light

But it seems nowadays that a woman can pack her whole life in a handbag.


My good friend the Goose e-mailed me asking if I could find out some information or a rather personal nature for him. Good news Goose, I found it.

1000bhp per tonne

Developed by engineers that helped deliver the iconic McLaren F1, the T1 is a new
uncompromised and unconstrained sports car that sets new boundaries in performance and driver experience and enjoyment. Unrivalled, extremely high speed and amazing dynamic performance envelope.

The T1 is a road going and track day 2 seater sports car using aerospace and high formula racing technologies whilst delivering optimum safety and accident protection.
An extremely lightweight sports car that is capable of delivering true ‘aerodynamic’ high speed performance, the T1 delivers a new level of acceleration, cornering and braking to the driver at 3g+ via its 1000 bhp/tonne performance specifications.

The T1 will deliver cost effective and reliable performance with vehicle support solutions tailored to the owners requirements.

FreeStream Cars T1

Maximum speed > 322kmh (200mph)
0 to 160kph (0 to 100mph) < 5 seconds
0 to 96kph (0 to 60mph) < 2.5 seconds
Lateral Acceleration up to 3g+
Braking Deceleration up to 3g+

I can guarantee that I know one DNA cowboy who'd happily lose a few limbs for this stunning, British built FreeStream Cars T1.

Friends (NSFW)

A friend is someone with who we can share our greatest joys and deepest fears;
To who we can confess our worst sins and most persistent faults;
To who we can trust our greater hopes and, perhaps, our more hidden yearnings.
A friend is the one who, although you do not see them, they are always there, even when all others have left you
We know that these days it has become all too typical to email pretentious comments accompanied by tear-jerking music
Dear friends, this year I want to send you something different, that is simple and more sincere.
This year I want to invite you to a special occasion - to share my special dream
Reach out your hands so that dreams can become reality
In a sick world of hatred, violence, death, mediocrity, and meaningless ambition, we must take refuge more in those things that comfort the spirit.
For that reason, dear FRIEND, today I want more than ever to share my dream with you.

Dream 1
Dream 2
Dream 3
Dream 4
Dream 5
Dream 6
Dream 7
Dream 8
Dream 9
Dream 10
Dream 11
Dream 12

Rubbed the right way

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

March 02, 2006
On this day:

One word

Singstar ... work it out yourselves.