tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-95406252024-02-07T20:38:13.520+00:00ConvictedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1487125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-90717957095601328322008-06-25T18:51:00.000+01:002008-06-25T18:53:12.773+01:00Hate your job?On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. <br /><br />Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. <br /><br />Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: <br /><br />"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized". <br /><br />Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,"I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson." <br /><br />HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-50228054304416521282008-05-18T10:48:00.002+01:002008-05-18T10:52:40.719+01:00Safety Warning!<div style="text-align: center;"><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:7;"><span style="font-size: 36pt; font-family: Arial;">Beware!!!!!!!</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:7;"><span style="font-size: 36pt; font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Arial;">ASDA is selling lounge chairs made in China,</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Arial;">and the plastic is very very cheap and thin.<br />Purchase at your own risk.<br />****</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Arial;">****</span></span></p><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijviaSOwi4HONj7S4JVGWrElb-UF0cbcyGfRro-h7MbkewfzTfCh6LyRkTRHzGFv8px3sIufoQHYqKyavd4FMBS0kV9THaaaDWviQLfxsrG95qqyvX2netXxlNge1aLZpGcAnE/s1600-h/Boobs.bmp"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijviaSOwi4HONj7S4JVGWrElb-UF0cbcyGfRro-h7MbkewfzTfCh6LyRkTRHzGFv8px3sIufoQHYqKyavd4FMBS0kV9THaaaDWviQLfxsrG95qqyvX2netXxlNge1aLZpGcAnE/s320/Boobs.bmp" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201652844601381266" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /></div>Tatashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08076261560698172018noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-88025907953540231702008-05-16T20:06:00.002+01:002008-05-16T20:10:15.540+01:00The daughterSeems that <a href="http://theinfomaniac.blogspot.com/" target=_blank>MJ</a> had a daughter. Here's some of her profile.<br /><br /><em>I was raised in a small rural area in Ontario, where I lived until I was about 18 years old. Other than helping out on the family farm, I spent most of my time studying, reading, or running around the 900+ acres of property my parents owned. I then moved to a larger city to attend university, and I still live and work in said city at this point. I was a very shy girl when I was younger, and mostly kept to myself up until my teens. From puberty on, I was always on the chubby side, much to my dismay at the time. <br /><br />My breasts started developing when I was ten years old or so; I remember sitting at the kitchen table, doing my homework, and my mother was...</em><br /><br />If you're interested you can read more on <a href="http://www.boobpedia.com/boobs/Blu_Velvet" target=_blank>MJ's daughter</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-81723846625710093692008-05-16T19:44:00.006+01:002008-05-16T19:53:08.601+01:00Surprised?Speed cameras have proliferated and the underhanded tricks that some police forces and "Safety" Camera Partnerships have performed include:<br /><a href="http://www.motorcyclenews.com/MCN/News/newsresults/mcn/2008/1-4/12-18/may1508northwalesusecampervanasspeedcamera/?&R=EPI-100445" target=_blank>hiding a speed camera in a camper van</a><br /><a href="http://www.motorcyclenews.com/MCN/News/newsresults/mcn/2008/march/10-16/mar1008policetosuehorseboxspeedcamera/" target=_blank>hiding a speed camera in a horse box</a><br /><a href="http://www.motorcyclenews.com/MCN/News/newsresults/mcn/2008/april/21-27/apr2208/" target=_blank>disguising a speed camera van as a workman's van</a><br /><br />So is it any wonder an <a href="http://trentinocorrierealpi.repubblica.it/multimedia/home/2206053" target=_blank>Italian motorcyclist was caught with a flip up number plate</a>?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-48206372325831843352008-05-10T13:32:00.003+01:002008-05-10T13:34:53.841+01:00At work with<center><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SPLaz6QiObU/SCWWBxIPU6I/AAAAAAAAAGQ/TEMWpDqkCcQ/s1600-h/P090408_16.59.JPG"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SPLaz6QiObU/SCWWBxIPU6I/AAAAAAAAAGQ/TEMWpDqkCcQ/s320/P090408_16.59.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5198726301981037474" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://inexplicabledevice.blogspot.com/" target=_blank>IDV</a><br /></center>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-53753073741275770182008-04-28T18:28:00.003+01:002008-04-28T19:07:30.058+01:00Cooking with ...<center><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/vibrator/" target=_blank><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SPLaz6QiObU/SBYJclr8-cI/AAAAAAAAAGI/6kDXqR8tNMw/s320/vibe-7.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5194349606975896002" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://theinfomaniac.blogspot.com/" target=_blank>MJ</a><br /></center>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-66001050710764840432008-04-23T18:50:00.002+01:002008-04-23T18:52:26.014+01:00School daysI'm sure that <a href="http://www.imagebeaver.com/view.php?mode=gallery&g=564050&photo=4" target=_blank>one of these</a> was <a href="http://lifefamilyetal.com/blog" target=_blank>Maidy</a> at school.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-2530538806004305462008-04-23T18:19:00.002+01:002008-04-23T18:32:47.414+01:00You know ...I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-39126244289325437542008-04-07T18:51:00.001+01:002008-04-07T18:53:08.600+01:00Lazy cuntThanks to all that wished me a happy birthday. Yes I know it was weeks ago now but fuck it.<br /><br />Work has suddenly gone mental and by the time I get home I don't want to sit in front of a computer, or a laptop.<br /><br />I will post something one day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-49793353724353999202008-02-22T14:34:00.014+00:002008-02-22T20:07:26.154+00:00World's ...Busiest airport. J.F.K International Airport, New York, USA<br /><center><a href="http://img144.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=90989_airport_122_864lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img144.imagevenue.com/loc864/th_90989_airport_122_864lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest church building. Winners` Chapel, Canaanland, Otta, Nigeria. Inside Sitting Capacity 50,000. Outside Overflow Capacity 250,000<br /><center><a href="http://img132.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=90999_biggestchurch_122_729lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img132.imagevenue.com/loc729/th_90999_biggestchurch_122_729lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest Stadium. Maracana Stadium, Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. Capacity 199,000<br /><center><a href="http://img148.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91009_biggeststadium_122_709lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img148.imagevenue.com/loc709/th_91009_biggeststadium_122_709lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Tallest building. Burj, Dubai. 900 meters high. To be finally completed 2008<br /><center><a href="http://img151.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91026_building_122_812lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img151.imagevenue.com/loc812/th_91026_building_122_812lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest bus. Neoplan Jumbo-cruiser 2 in 1 double deck bus. 170 passenger capacity<br /><center><a href="http://img111.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91037_bus_122_1117lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img111.imagevenue.com/loc1117/th_91037_bus_122_1117lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest Roman Catholic Cathedral. Ivory Coast<br /><center><a href="http://img17.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91042_cathedral_122_1189lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img17.imagevenue.com/loc1189/th_91042_cathedral_122_1189lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Most complex interchange. Interstate 10 Highways Interchange, Houston, Texas<br /><center><a href="http://img222.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91053_complexinterchange_122_354lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img222.imagevenue.com/loc354/th_91053_complexinterchange_122_354lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Costliest stadium. New Wembley Stadium, London, England. 90, 000 capacity. Cost $1.6 billion<br /><center><a href="http://img232.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91056_costlieststadium_122_48lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img232.imagevenue.com/loc48/th_91056_costlieststadium_122_48lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest excavator. Built by KRUPP of Germany. 45,500 tons. 95 meters high. 215 meters long<br /><center><a href="http://img219.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91057_excavator_122_61lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img219.imagevenue.com/loc61/th_91057_excavator_122_61lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Most expensive hotel. Burj Al Arab Hotel, Dubai. Only 7 Star Hotel in the World. Cheapest room $1000 per night. Royal suit $28,000 per night<br /><center><a href="http://img242.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91226_expensivehotel_122_460lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img242.imagevenue.com/loc460/th_91226_expensivehotel_122_460lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest hotel. MGM Grand Hotel, Las Vegas. 6,276 rooms<br /><center><a href="http://img175.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91227_hotel_122_651lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img175.imagevenue.com/loc651/th_91227_hotel_122_651lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Longest bridge. Donghai Bridge, China. 32.5 kilometres<br /><center><a href="http://img240.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91228_longestbridge_122_216lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img240.imagevenue.com/loc216/th_91228_longestbridge_122_216lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest shopping mall. South China Mall, Dongguan, China. 892,000 square metres. Shops on 6 floors<br /><center><a href="http://img106.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91228_mall_122_809lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img106.imagevenue.com/loc809/th_91228_mall_122_809lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Largest mosque. Shah Feisal mosque, Islamabad, Pakistan. Inside hall capacity 35,000. Outside overflow capacity 150,000<br /><center><a href="http://img156.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91233_mosque_122_1059lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img156.imagevenue.com/loc1059/th_91233_mosque_122_1059lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest office complex. Chicago Merchandise Mart, Illinois, USA<br /><center><a href="http://img17.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91239_office_122_822lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img17.imagevenue.com/loc822/th_91239_office_122_822lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Largest palace. Palace of the Parliament, Bucharest, Romania. More than 500 bedrooms, 55 kitchens, 120 sitting rooms<br /><center><a href="http://img159.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91246_palace_122_736lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img159.imagevenue.com/loc736/th_91246_palace_122_736lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest passenger plane. Airbus A380. 555 passengers<br /><center><a href="http://img120.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91258_plane_122_863lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img120.imagevenue.com/loc863/th_91258_plane_122_863lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest indoor pool. World Water Park, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Size 5 Acres<br /><center><a href="http://img137.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91274_pool_122_716lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img137.imagevenue.com/loc716/th_91274_pool_122_716lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest passenger ship. MS Freedom of the Seas. 4300 passenger capacity inside<br /><center><a href="http://img220.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91349_ship_122_401lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img220.imagevenue.com/loc401/th_91349_ship_122_401lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Highest statue. Christ The Redeemer Statue, Rio De Janeiro, Brazil<br /><center><a href="http://img130.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91435_statue_122_640lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img130.imagevenue.com/loc640/th_91435_statue_122_640lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Widest bridge. Sydney harbour bridge, Australia. 16 lanes of car traffic. 8 lanes in the upper floor, 8 in the lower floor<br /><center><a href="http://img190.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91437_widestbridge_122_519lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img190.imagevenue.com/loc519/th_91437_widestbridge_122_519lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center><br /><br />Biggest cunt. Runs the UK without being voted Prime Minister. Treasonously signed the UK citizens' rights away to the EU.<br /><center><a href="http://img153.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91014_brown_122_762lo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img153.imagevenue.com/loc762/th_91014_brown_122_762lo.jpg" border="0" /></a></center>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-34205825099702383982008-02-19T20:21:00.025+00:002008-02-19T21:10:22.059+00:00World's ...was going to be a list of modern engineering marvels.<br /><br />Blogger fucked up and lost it.<br /><br />I've been working on it for 2 hours.<br /><br />I'll do it later.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-81474730870144403402008-02-09T15:45:00.001+00:002008-02-09T15:45:55.519+00:00Urban Myth?Now for the ultimate speeding ticket Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident, whilst checking for speeding motorists on the A-1 Great North Road. One of the officers, used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300mph. The machine then stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it. <br /><br />The radar had in fact latched on to a NATO Tornado fighter jet over the North Sea, which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district. Back at police headquarters the Chief Constable fired off a stiff complaint to the RAF Liaison office. <br /><br />The reply came back in true laconic RAF style. "Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado had automatically locked on to your 'hostile radar equipment' and sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, the Air-to-ground missiles aboard this fully-armed aircraft had also locked on to the target. Fortunately, the Dutch pilot flying the Tornado responded to the missile status alert intelligently, and was able to override the automatic protection system before a missile was launched! <br /><br />PERSONALLY, I THINK HE SHOULD HAVE JUST PULLED THE TRIGGER.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-34056097628400697242008-01-22T20:49:00.000+00:002008-01-22T20:52:53.888+00:00Drink?Now I'm almost certain that <a href="http://theinfomaniac.blogspot.com/" target=_blank>MJ</a> is short for Mary Jane, and who on earth would want to be called Mary in this day and age? Well, anyone who doesn't want to be written off as an old woman. So I think that this is how <a href="http://img121.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=85523_t6_123_616lo.jpg" target=_blank>MJ gets her drinks</a>.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-14209461622894425042008-01-22T20:45:00.001+00:002008-01-22T20:49:23.117+00:00Canny fatherI'm sure <a href="http://tazzyandpiggy.com/sid" target=_blank>SID</a> would behave just the same.<br /><br />An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months.<br /><br />Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.<br /><br />The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.<br /><br />Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"<br /><br />The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.<br /><br />He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:<br /><br />"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.<br /><br />I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.<br /><br />Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a £2,000,000 bank account.<br /><br />If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and £2,000,000 each.<br /><br />However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not really sure what to do. What do you suggest?"<br /><br />At this point, the girls father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,<br /><br />"You shag her again."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-90712875899563707132008-01-14T18:04:00.000+00:002008-01-14T18:15:02.214+00:00Third nipple<em>Supernumerary nipples (SNs) are a common minor congenital malformation that consists of nipples and/or related tissue in addition to the 2 nipples normally appearing on the chest. SNs are located along the embryonic milk line. Ectopic SNs are found beyond the embryonic milk line. The embryonic milk line is the line of potentially appearing breast tissue as observed in many mammals. In humans, the embryonic milk line extends bilaterally from a point slightly beyond the axillae on the arms, down the chest and the abdomen toward the groin, and is generally thought to end at the proximal inner sides of the thighs, although SN has been described on the foot. SNs can appear complete with breast tissue and ducts and are then referred to as polymastia, or they can appear partially with either of the tissues involved.</em><br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.emedicine.com/derm/images/Large/1446DER0735-04.jpg" height=200 width=150/><br /><font size="small">Piggy's third nipple</font></center><br /><br /><a href="http://www.emedicine.com/derm/topic735.htm" target=_blank>Supernumeray nipple source</a>.<br /><br />A more <a href="http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~wenz/" target=_blank>light hearted look at the Triple Nipple</a>.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-31911832609940602412008-01-07T18:17:00.000+00:002008-01-08T19:15:28.478+00:00Blogger photosMight as well start the New Year as I mean to go on. By insulting bloggers that visit this site.<br /><br /><a href="http://theinfomaniac.blogspot.com/" target=_blank>MJ</a> before she found out the wonders of drink. Not necessarily for her to consume.<br /><br /><a href="http://lifefamilyetal.com/blog" target=_blank>Maidy</a> when she was in her nutjob phase and was popping pills.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.kellysmunt.com/blog/" target=_blank>Smunty Steve</a> ready for a night of freaky sex with Carly.<br /><br /><a href="http://tazzyandpiggy.com/sid" target=_blank>SID</a> ready for a night out on the town without SB and the earthangels.<br /><br /><a href="http://inexplicabledevice.blogspot.com/" target=_blank>IVD</a> has always loved to get his hands on a large organ or two or three.<br /><br /><a href="http://tazandpig.net/ourblog/?" target=_blank>Piggy</a> just can't resist that last Rolo even if he has to get down on his <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21206761@N00/201515033/" target=_blank>knees</a> for it.<br /><br /><font color="yellow"><b>Update:</b> all the pics apart from Piggy can be found <a href="http://eblogx.de/Funny-People-8282.html" target=_blank>here</a>. Leave which ones you think are whom in the comments.</font><br /><br /><!--<br />MJ: 09.jpg<br />Maidy: 11.jpg<br />Steve: 04.jpg<br />SID: 13.jpg<br />IVD: 05.jpg<br />-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-50883396846336452842008-01-04T17:19:00.000+00:002008-01-04T17:20:53.333+00:00Happy New YearNow stop fucking moaning you cunts.<br /><br />I've been busy on holiday. Mostly playing Guitar Hero III.<br /><br />That is all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-60061149556001833232007-12-24T12:06:00.000+00:002007-12-24T12:08:23.870+00:00Christmas MessageThis will probably be my last post of 2007. See you in 2008.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.rga.com/holiday07/index.html?cardID=7ff13819-7b70-4a7e-ab93-fcdbab661742" target=_blank>My Christmas message to you.</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-80146498436993758662007-12-20T14:07:00.000+00:002007-12-20T14:10:39.037+00:00A letter frm SantaTwas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.<br />He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.<br />Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.<br />I have a good mind to scrap the whole works !<br /><br />I've busted my ass for damn near a year.<br />Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?<br />The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.<br />The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight<br /><br />Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.<br />Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.<br />And just when I thought that things would get better.<br />Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,<br />They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny<br />Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?<br /><br />And the kids these days--they all are the pits<br />They want the impossible--Those mean little shits<br />I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds<br />Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads<br />I made a ton of you yo yo's--No request for them!<br />They want computers and robots..they think--I'm IBM !<br /><br />Flying through the air...dodging the trees<br />Falling down chimney's and skinning my knees<br />I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment<br />I"ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.<br /><br />There's no Christmas this year, now you know the reason,<br /><br />I found me a redhead.<br />I'm going SOUTH for the season!<br /><br />Via <a href="http://myhotbox.blogspot.com/" target=_blank>Badgirl's Hotbox</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-67463222916459955472007-12-19T12:25:00.000+00:002007-12-19T12:25:35.514+00:00Lesser known laws1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.<br /><br />2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.<br /><br />3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.<br /><br />4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.<br /><br />5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.<br /><br />6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, on a hill, in the fog, and 9 times out of 10, they'll have Texas plates on their car....<br /><br />7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.<br /><br />8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.<br /><br />9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.<br /><br />10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.<br /><br />Via <a href="http://blog-thegoose2.blogspot.com/" target=_blank>Goose</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-45466268099681874322007-12-17T18:25:00.000+00:002007-12-17T18:24:30.125+00:00TV Theme TunesHere's the <a href="http://www.televisiontunes.com/Red_Dwarf_(Main_Theme_ver_2).html" target=_blank>theme tune</a> to one of my favourite tv programs. Oh, and here's <a href="http://www.televisiontunes.com/Black_Adder_-_2nd_Series.html" target=_blank>another</a> and <a href="http://www.televisiontunes.com/Farscape_-_Full_Version.html" target=_blank>another</a>.<br /><br />Check out your favourite <a href="http://www.televisiontunes.com/" target=_blank>TV theme tunes</a> and post three on your blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-1645397130874029152007-12-14T16:53:00.000+00:002007-12-14T17:05:29.584+00:00Paul Smith R.I.P.Paul Smith, founder of <a href="http://safespeed.org.uk" target=_blank>Safe Speed</a> died last night from a suspected stroke or heart attack at the age of 52.<br /><br />Since founding <a href="http://safespeed.org.uk" target=_blank>Safe Speed</a> in 2001 Paul, an engineer for 25 years, spent many thousands of hours investigating the effects of speed cameras on road safety and their knock on effects. A vocal critic of the government's policies toward road safety he proposed promoting good driving practices and teaching methods to new and old drivers.<br /><br />I never met Paul, only knowing him from visiting the <a href="http://safespeed.org.uk/forum/index.php" target=_blank>Safe Speed forum</a> and regret that I never met the man who put so much of his life and energy trying to convince politicians that speed cameras weren't the answer to improving the rate of killed and seriously injured drivers which once saw the United Kingdom lead the way in road safety.<br /><br />My sincere condolences go out to Paul's family and all of those who were close to him.<br /><br />If you are passionate about road safety please visit <a href="http://safespeed.org.uk" target=_blank>Safe Speed</a> and donate to their cause.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-58597411247910309812007-12-13T18:37:00.000+00:002007-12-13T18:37:36.936+00:00Pro-Street Romania<em>STREET KING!<br />This is the only Romanian street race website in English.<br />I want to race international. Please check out my car and some of the girls of my town on the web page. Enjoy! You will also please see my best enemy Dragos Dacia. He is also a street racer but does not take it serious. I will always beat him. Multumesc!</em><br /><br />I'm not sure if <a href="http://www.prostreetromania.ro/prostreet.htm" _target=blank>Pro-Street Romania</a> is a serious site or not.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-45247008455063149902007-12-12T18:35:00.000+00:002007-12-12T18:40:28.015+00:00Strike?Following on from the <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7141081.stm" _target=blank>Police vote of no confidence in the Home Secretary Jacqui Smith</a>, they are now going to be balloted to see if they want to strike. Now, the Police are not allowed to strike as it illegal for them to do so. Which begs the question ...<br /><br />If the Police strike, who will be around to arrest them?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9540625.post-66483901298160323572007-12-11T17:50:00.000+00:002007-12-11T17:53:04.321+00:00Tight spotFed up with not having enough room to park your car? Spare a thought for this Korean guy who has to park his 157cm car in a 180cm parking bay every day.<br /><br /><center><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kS99XYyf2Hc&rel=1&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kS99XYyf2Hc&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object></center>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0