December 10, 2007
On this day:

They came from outer space

Or the result of the visit of Tazzy and Piggy.

After phoning and trying to wheedle his way out of driving down because of a bit of rain, the boys finally arrived around 5pm on Saturday. After buzzing them through the gates they piled out of their school run mum car and were greeted at the door by the cat. Despite weeks of training her to attack their pictures, the cat only nipped them. I can see that more intensive training is going to be required for their next visit. Either that or get a lion.

After eating a fantastic meal prepared by Tatas' fair hands, which Piggy complained about non-stop, we decide to go to the local for a few pints. We did have an ulterior motive for this. If they got too pissed up we could leave them in town to puke and sleep in the gutters/shop doorways instead of dirtying up our lovely home. Fortunately our friends from the pub were well pissed by the time we got there so they only have a vague recollection of the boys. Coincidentally, our camera decided to give up the ghost while we were there so we have a distinct lack of pictures.

Upon returning to the house we managed a couple of more drinks while Piggy whined and moaned that he wanted more pets. Tazzy only had to utter "No" and Piggy shut up pretty quick. Tazzy's definitely the strong silent type. Not that he has much choice as Piggy is like a bloody fishwife and hardly shuts his trap unless he's stuffing his face. We showed them to one of the guest rooms and bade them goodnight.

Morning broke and after a while Piggy surfaced. If you check out their account you will see that Piggy was feeling a bit worse for wear. It wasn't just because he was hung over but also because, according to him, the four poster bed wasn't comfortable enough. Tazzy seemed quite content with the sleeping arrangements.

We ate breakfast and decided to show them around the place: the pool, the ponies which will no longer come to us when called. I've no idea what the dirty bastards did to the poor creatures.

These poor creatures are now traumatised.

We then decided to go for a drive as the weather was shit and I didn't want Piggy stinking up the place any more. He'd already blocked up two of the en-suite toilets by this point the dirty bastard.

Upon our return Tatas had prepared dinner which Piggy moaned about yet again.

One thing about Piggy. He'll complain about what he's eating but still shovel it into his trap as fast as he can. No wonder his bowels are in such a state.

After dinner we kicked our heels and made small talk wondering how long until they left. Eventually they did. Apparently it pissed hard all the way back for them. Result.

Will we be seeing them again? Tazzy would be welcome as he's respectable and can hold an intelligent conversation without complaining. Piggy? If he's scrubbed down with industrial cleaners, including an enema a day for a week before hand, and if he's gagged to stop him complaining.


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