May 20, 2005
On this day:

Wierd American Laws

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
What about if you are blind?

Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
But perfectly legal to hold the buggers under

You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
Finding a hill steep enough to give you the run up is the problem
You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
Cos you look bloody stupid bent over double

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
To resolve this the hair dryers fall down on the hapless victim every minute
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
So it's ok to chuck the missus out of a plane then?
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
Like the elephant'll still be there when you get back
[SARASOTA] It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
But perfectly legal to do so nekkid
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
So make sure you have a gown with straps

It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
What about a cigarrete or a joint?

Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
Hence the famous phrase uttered by mothers around the globe: Careful or you'll have someone's eye out with those
Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
An onion salad is perfectly OK though

Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
Just kiss this darling ... mwuhahaha

By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
That's a law that uberBitch, Goose, DNA and I can deal with
It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
Is that an ice cream cone in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Perfectly legal to use a hunting rifle with armour piercing bullets though
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
What if you bite them with the teeth in your hand?

Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
But help yourself to the shrimp and crab sticks
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
No homeless on the streets in Massachusetts then
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
Cos everyone knows that goatees are lethal weapons

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