Football viruses

For Goose and Dan

The Man United Virus:
your computer develops a memory disorder and forgets everything before 1993.

The Man United shirt virus:
Very difficult to detect as it changes format every three months.

The Roy Keane Virus:
Kicks you out of windows.

The Tim Howard virus:
The computer looks like its functioning normally but you can't save anything.

The Alex Ferguson virus:
The computer develops a continuos whining noise. The onscreen clock runs slower than all other computers in the building.