Things not to say during sex

1- Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

2- On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

3- Got any penicillin?

4- When is this supposed to feel good?

5- You're good enough to do this for a living.

6- Is that blood on the headboard?

7- But everybody looks funny naked.

8- How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?

9- Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

10- Is that you I can smell?

11- Have you ever considered liposuction?

12- I really hate people who actually think sex means something.

13- But my cat always sleeps on the pillow!

14- And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

15- I was so horny tonight I would have taken anything home.

16- You'll still vote for me, won't you?

17- You look younger than you feel.

18- Have you seen Fatal Attraction?

19- KY Jelly or no KY Jelly, I said NO !!

20- Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.

21- This would be more fun with some more people.

22- Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?

23- It's nice being in bed with something you don't need to inflate!!

24- Did I mention the video camera?

25- My old partner used to do it a LOT longer!

26- And to think, I was really trying to pick up your friend!

27- Hope you're looking as good when I'm sober.....

28- I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

29- They're not biscuit crumbs, it's only a rash.