Have you last one

Been Married - Yes, happily for 8 years
Been Divorced - No
Snuck Out Of My Parent's House - No
Cut Myself On Purpose - No
Killed Someone - No, but sometimes wished I could
Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire Or Burned Myself - Yes, cigarette, I was young and bored
Crashed A Friend's/Mom's Car - No, but I ran into the back of a police car
Shoplifted - Yes, I also got stopped for shoplifting once when I was shopping
Stolen Something From My Job - Yes, pens, nothing like a gold bar
Been Fired - No
Been In A Fist Fight - Yes
Been Tied Up - Yes, that reminds me, "Where's the rope hun?"
Been Arrested - No, oddly enough for my moniker
Ridden In A Taxi - Yes
Lied To A Friend - Yes
Skipped School - Yes, last 2 years I was hardly there
Had A Crush On A Teacher - No
Celebrated Mardi-Gras In New Orleans - No, but I sure would like to
Celebrated New Years In Time Square - No, don't think I want to
Been To Japan - No, not sure if I'd like to
Been To Europe - Yes, a few countries I'd like to visit
Been Snowboarding - No, I prefer tea-trays
Eaten Sushi - Yes, Mrs Convict makes nice sushi (not that sort you smutmeisters!!!)